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I learned a valuable lesson during this Monday’s stream: don’t try to discuss overly serious stuff while broadcasting.

Nothing personal, mind. I at least have enough sense not to discuss such matters as my family or overly detailed updates on my medical conditions. Nonetheless, self-consciously reflecting on doubts regarding one’s value as an entertainer is, well, not entertaining. Even if there were a worthwhile conversation to be had regarding what it takes or means to be entertaining while playing a game, it is unlikely to come about while driven not by a crisis of confidence instead of intellectual curiosity. In addition to the attempt to carry a discussion with oneself live on stream, the required concentration and constant interruptions of playing a game at the same time are bound to result in one awkward stream. The end result is a video-on-demand that you’re eager to see expire and vanish in the abyss of Twitch’s hungry maw.

Which is why I now transfer such thoughts to the blog, where I can more effectively focus my thoughts and how they are expressed. This is not, after all, the only thing I’ve pondered about myself while streaming. It is only the latest in a long line of observations and questions I’ve made of myself in this recent endeavor. The tone at which I speak, the manner in which I address friends and viewers, how I discuss the game I’m playing and its design elements; these are all factors I’ve pondered lately in terms of what makes an engaging, quality stream.

Curiously enough, it does not begin with Twitch itself, but the closing of my Facebook account.

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I can’t remember the last time I played a video game whose ending burned up any good will I had for it. There are plenty of games for which their endings left me either apathetic or dissatisfied, but rarely has a game concluded in a manner that just upset me to the extent that The Medium had.

Perhaps if there were more to the actual experience of playing it, I’d have been more forgiving. I don’t mean that as a dig towards its lack of combat mechanics or anything, either. This is a psychological horror game that is clearly inspired by the earlier entries of the Silent Hill franchise. Clumsy combat mechanics were never their strong suit, so it makes sense for an independently developed spiritual successor to cut out what the franchise did poorly in order to focus on its strengths. With Silent Hill, those strengths are the narrative, atmosphere, characters, and puzzles.

Unfortunately, The Medium failed to measure up to just about any of those categories for me. I’m tempted to at least claim it was an “interesting” game, but this would either imply I’m trying to kindly call it “bad” – which it really isn’t – or that any deeper contemplation would do anything more than further confound. The game’s conclusion could have saved its otherwise forgettable nature had it ended on a strong note. Instead, The Medium became my very definition of a “Game Pass game”.

Keep in mind that I believe games ought to be replayed, and I fear that services like Game Pass turn them into disposable pieces of basic consumption. No rumination, no consideration, no savoring of the experience and really contemplating the developer’s intent. Just consume and move onto the next product in line. So to claim The Medium is the very definition of a “Game Pass game” means that it feels like a game that you consume once and then forget about.

I might have come away feeling differently if it only had a better ending.

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